CTV News Part 2 - How to End a Marriage without a Lawyer
20 September 2024
Did you know you can get a divorce without a lawyer? When two people discover or decide that marriage is no longer for them, unfortunately, they are calling their lawyers right away. Karen Stewart learned that the hard way, and now has a company to help you. Learn what to do and how Fairway can help you protect what is important to you.
How to divorce without a Lawyer
In this second interview of a series of three, Karen Stewart talks with CTV News Edmonton about divorce lawyers and why calling them may be the wrong thing to do. Keep the money in your pocket. Learn how to avoid fighting it out with the courts. Instead, achieve amazing outcomes using a mediation and negotiation method that makes sense and focuses on the wellbeing of the children.
This video is of 2018, but it’s as relevant now as it was then!
How to end a marriage without a lawyer: A guide to protecting what matters most
Ending a marriage is like deciding to jump off a cliff and hoping the parachute opens. Believe me, I've been there. After going through my own divorce and experiencing firsthand the emotional and financial wreckage that can follow, I realized something important: There has to be a better way. That’s why I founded Fairway Divorce Solutions—to help people like you navigate this challenging process without turning it into a legal battle royale. In this guide, I’ll share practical steps, backed by my own experiences and countless others I've helped along the way.
Why hiring a lawyer might not be the best first step
I remember the day I decided to call a lawyer. It felt like the "right" thing to do—after all, isn't that what everyone tells you? But here's what I quickly learned: The moment you pick up that phone, you're setting the stage for a fight. Lawyers have their place, but trust me, when it comes to divorce, they can turn a simple disagreement into a full-blown war.
We often go into defence mode before we even know what the battlefield looks like. We need to take a deep breath and step back. I once had a friend—a top litigation lawyer—tell me, "Karen, by hiring a lawyer, you're about to give up control." At the time, I didn't fully understand what she meant, but five years and half a million dollars later, it hit me. So here’s my advice: Before you rush into the arms of a lawyer, consider other options.
Focus on what matters: Your children and finances
When I was going through my divorce, I found myself tangled in the same mess many people do—fighting over kids and money like they were chess pieces. But here's the thing: Your kids aren't pawns, and your money isn’t a trophy. It took me a while to realize that these two issues need to be separated if you want a healthy divorce.
One of the biggest lessons I learned from my own experience was that using your children as bargaining chips only leaves everyone—especially the kids—scarred. I ended up with a parallel parenting plan, which basically means I couldn't co-parent with the father of my children. If I had focused more on their well-being and less on winning, I might have avoided that outcome. That’s why I emphasize to my clients: Put the kids first. Co-parenting isn’t about being best friends with your ex; it’s about making sure your children grow up healthy and happy, despite the circumstances.
The Fairway approach: A better way to divorce
Now, let me tell you a little secret: I started Fairway Divorce Solutions because I was tired of watching people go through what I went through. I wanted to create a better way. I know that sounds cliché, but this is personal for me. My team and I have crafted a process that skips the courtroom drama and gets straight to the point—resolving your differences and moving on with your life.
At Fairway, we believe that you don’t need a lawyer to have a fair divorce. You need a plan, support, and the right mindset. I’ve seen clients walk away from our process with a sense of relief, knowing they’ve protected their finances and preserved their relationships—especially with their kids. And honestly, that’s what it’s all about. You can get to that outcome without fighting each other. Trust me, I've lived it.
How to start the process without a lawyer
- Take a Deep Breath and Assess Your Situation: Seriously, take a deep breath. Divorce is overwhelming, and it’s easy to get caught up in the emotions. But remember, this isn’t a sprint; it’s a marathon. Start by assessing your situation calmly. My own experience taught me that rushing into decisions can lead to regrets down the road.
- Focus on Your Children: Your kids didn’t ask for this, so make sure they come first. I’ve made mistakes in this area, and I don’t want you to. Plan a co-parenting strategy that prioritizes their needs. This isn’t about you or your ex—it’s about them.
- Protect Your Finances: I can’t stress this enough. Avoid the temptation to throw money at a legal battle. Keep it in your pocket, where it belongs. Mediation and other alternatives can help you resolve financial matters without draining your bank account.
- Educate Yourself: Knowledge is power. Learn the ins and outs of divorce in your area. It’s like studying for a test—except the stakes are higher. Our website has a wealth of resources to help you get started. Visit our Resources Section for more information.
The benefits of a lawyer-free divorce
A lawyer-free divorce might sound like trying to bake a cake without a recipe, but trust me, it’s not that complicated. Here’s what I’ve seen after years of helping people through this process:
- Cost Savings: You know what they say, "A penny saved is a penny earned." Well, in this case, it’s more like thousands of dollars saved. By avoiding legal fees, you’ll have more resources to rebuild your life post-divorce.
- Time Efficiency: Who wants to spend years in court? Not me, and definitely not you. A more amicable approach allows for quicker resolutions, so you can move on with your life.
- Emotional Well-being: Look, divorce is tough. But it doesn’t have to be a nightmare. By reducing conflict, you and your kids can come out of this stronger. I’ve seen it happen time and time again.
Conclusion: Taking control of your divorce
Divorce is never easy, but it doesn’t have to be the end of the world. By focusing on what really matters—your kids, your finances, and your future—you can navigate this challenging time with dignity and grace. Fairway Divorce Solutions provides a path that skips the drama and empowers you to protect what’s most important to you.
For those ready to take the next step, learn more about our Divorce Mediation Services and how we can support you through this process.
Fairway Divorce Solutions
Get a fair divorce as fast and painless as possible, protect your children, and preserve your assets. Would you like to find out more about your options for a separation? Contact us for a free consultation with a divorce mediation experts.
You may be interested in the other interviews of Karen Stewart by CTV Edmonton: